


The Sign

by nightwalker



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Established Relationship, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 10:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3115943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightwalker/pseuds/nightwalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony hadn't slept the night before and he knew Steve hadn't either. They'd just laid there, side by side, listening to each other breathe and thinking their own thoughts. Somewhere around dawn Steve had rolled onto his side and splayed his fingers over Tony's heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sign

**Author's Note:**

  * For [royal_chandler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/royal_chandler/gifts).



> Happy Cap-IM, royal_chandler! I hope you like your fic!
> 
>  
> 
> I took some liberties with the adoption process, though I tried to keep the general experience more or less accurate.
> 
> Thank you, brandnewfashion, for your help!

The apartment was cheap and a little rundown. It was in South Bronx, not the best part of town, and there were two solid deadbolts on the door and bars on the windows. The furniture was old and beat up, the fabric worn and faded and the wall decorations were old movie posters in cheap frames and the sort of prints you'd find at thrift stores. But everything was neat and clean and there were bright green plants sitting on the windowsill above the kitchen sink. Knickknacks lined the battered bookshelves, framed photos of laughing young people were hung on the wall over a computer desk. It looked homey and well-cared for.

The girl sitting on the desk chair was named Laurie Roarke and she was a little pale – nerves, Tony thought, judging by the way she kept wringing her hands and biting her bottom lip. She smiled at them often, and it looked sincere, but not necessarily happy. She couldn't have been more than seventeen, and she looked tired and worn the way constant stress and worry would do.

“You got the pictures I sent?” Laurie asked.

She had to know they had, but Tony supposed in her place he wouldn't know how to start this conversation either. “We did. She's beautiful.”

“And healthy,” Laurie added. “I- I got your check, Mr. Stark, and I took her straight to the pediatrician. Thank you,” she added quickly. “I didn't – It would have been a while before I had enough to take her by myself.”

“You understand that you don't have to pay us back, right?”Steve had been mostly quiet since they arrived at the little apartment, content to let Tony make the introductions, but now he leaned forward. Laurie had gestured for them to take the couch, but there were no other chairs, so now she sat perched in the office chair, her hands folded together in her lap. “If this doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. But we aren't going to ask for the money back.”

Laurie nodded. “I – yeah. My sister read over the paperwork you sent before I signed anything. She's a social worker,” she added. “She's the one who helped me place the add.”

It hadn't been the plan, originally, to go through a private adoption. But the state had turned them down flat – unmarried, the social worker had said, and in a high-risk profession and Tony's well-publicized battle with alcoholism certainly hadn't helped them any. So they'd gone the private route, hiring a lawyer who specialized in adoptions and networking to find a birth mother who needed to find a home for her child.

It had all felt very casual. Tony felt like he was looking for a used treadmill on Craigslist, not a child. 

It was Steve, though, who had chosen Laurie. They'd met a half dozen prospective mothers so far – two had just not worked out, one had changed her mind about adopting before she'd given birth, another had decided not to give her child to a couple of fags, even if they were rich fags. One had been very kind and it had seemed like a good fit, but she'd flinched from the idea that her child might end up the target of supervillains or kidnappers because of who its parents would be.

They'd taken a break after that, giving themselves a few weeks to clear their heads and get their hopes back up. And then Steve had been going through the websites and the classifieds and he'd found Laurie.

They'd spoken several times, first by phone and then at an arranged meeting place. Laurie had sent them pictures of her baby – a daughter, not quite eight weeks old, with her mother's golden brown skin and curly dark hair. They'd exchanged some paperwork – the results of a background check and a home visit on their end, the hospital papers on the birth from Laurie – and Tony had paid for a pediatrician's visit since neither Laurie nor the baby had had any official follow up since the birth besides a visit to a free clinic. And then they'd arranged to meet the baby.

Tony hadn't slept the night before and he knew Steve hadn't either. They'd just laid there, side by side, listening to each other breathe and thinking their own thoughts. Somewhere around dawn Steve had rolled onto his side and splayed his fingers over Tony's heart.

“You live with your sister, right?” Steve laid a hand on Tony's knee. “I think you mentioned that in one of our phone conferences.”

Laurie nodded. Her hair was lighter than her daughter's, straight and long, but she wore it pulled back from her face. She had dressed up to meet them, Tony realized. Her hair clipped back, little gold hoops in her ears, wearing a cardigan and a skirt and kitten heels. It just made her look younger. 

“My parents weren't very happy with me after I told them I was pregnant,” she said. Her voice was matter-of-fact, but Tony could tell the difference between true indifference and practiced lack of concern. “Gretchen let me stay here while I got my GED. I'm going to start nursing school in the fall so I'll probably stay, but at least she'll have her room back.”

There was an air mattress in the corner of the living room, between the computer desk and the window. It was heaped with pillows and blankets, as if someone had rolled out of bed and not bothered to straighten up.

Tony exchanged a quick glance with Steve. Money was tight indeed, if the girls couldn't even afford a fold-out couch or a second mattress. “Is Gretchen here today?”

“Yeah, she's in the bedroom with – with the baby. We thought it would be best if I talked to you alone first.”

And also best that she not be alone in the apartment with them, which was smart. Even with the background check and the character references, it was better to be careful. 

“There are some things we'd need to discuss,” Steve said gently. “It'll probably take more than one visit to hammer this all out.”

She nodded. “I know. It's – there's a lot of legal details.”

“And financial ones as well,” Tony said. “Plus there's the matter of involvement.”

“Most adoptive parents decide against involvement of the birth parents,” Laurie said automatically, and Tony could hear in her voice that she was repeating something she'd been told. Her sister, probably. “I'm prepared to surrender all parental rights including visitation.”

Steve shifted on the couch, just a little, but Tony knew him well enough to know that he didn't like that. Tony laid a hand over Steve's where it still rested on Tony's knee.

“You're prepared for that, but is it what you want?” Tony asked.

“I want what's going to get my baby a better life,” Laurie said. She didn't look at either of them, just stared down at her hands as she rubbed them together in her lap. “I did some research on you. Asked questions, looked things up on the internet.”

“Oh my god, and you let me in your house?” Tony teased. 

He was rewarded with a tiny smile. “I called the references you gave me. I asked them questions.”

“What did you ask them about us?”

“Did you love each other. How long had you wanted a baby. Were you nice. Did you even like kids. Stuff like that.” She grinned a little. “A guy named Sam told me you were basically large children yourselves.”

“That traitor,” Tony said. “I paid him a lot of money to lie to you.”

Steve squeezed his knee in warning, but Laurie laughed, so Tony figured it was a risk well-taken. 

“Look,” Laurie said. “Why don't you meet S- the baby. You guys can visit her a little. After you've met her we can go over details. It's – we might as well see if you want her first.”

“Practical and to the point.” Tony offered her a smile. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Come on.” Laurie stood and led them through the door next to the kitchen. It opened into a small bedroom with a single window. It was sparsely furnished, with only a full-sized bed and a small dresser, but the bedspread and curtains were a cheery pink and yellow and the walls were covered in collages made out of polaroids and shapshots. There was a girl sitting cross-legged on the bed, a young woman only a few years older than Laurie. She had the same hair, and the same eyes, and as soon as they walked in she snapped the book she'd been reading shut. 

“Gretchen,” Laurie said. “This is Tony and Steve. I want them to meet the baby.”

There was a small crib in the corner – more of a cradle really, and it was definitely second-hand. Laurie led them over and carefully lifted a small body up in her arms.

The baby was sleeping, wearing a pale green onesie and wrapped in a faded blue blanket. Laurie stroked the baby's cheek with one finger but she didn't hesitate to turn and offer the baby to Tony.

“Oh,” Tony said. “Hey there.” The baby stirred as she was handed over, but she just sighed and went still again. She was warm in Tony's arms as he held her against his chest. “Hello there, sweetheart.”

“Why don't we go out into the living room?” Gretchen asked. She was standing by the door with one hand on her sister's shoulder. “You guys can sit on the couch and get to know her a little and Laurie and I will make everyone some coffee.”

The kitchen was open, separated from the living room only by a breakfast island. It would give them the illusion of privacy while still allowing the women to supervise the visit. Tony approved. “Oh, thank god, caffeine,” he said. “My batteries are running low.”

“He doesn't have batteries,” Steve said dryly. He was standing at Tony's shoulder, looking down at the baby with a soft smile. “But his blood is forty-percent caffeine on a regular day, so he probably needs to top off.”

“He's exaggerating,” Tony told the baby. “It's twenty-five percent, tops.”

Gretchen and Laurie disappeared into the kitchen and Tony settled down on the couch, one leg tucked under him so he could sit sideways and face Steve. The baby didn't move at all, not even when Steve traced a finger over her cheek. “She's lovely,” he said in a low voice.

“She is.” The other mothers they'd met with hadn't given birth yet. There had been sonograms and medical reports, but no baby to hold in their arms. It all felt very real now. Very sudden.

“We have to do this right,” Steve said softly. He touched one of the baby's hands, her tiny fingers curled into a fist. “Tony, how do we know we're doing this right?”

“How does any parent?” Tony asked philosophically. “You do your damned best, and you don't forget what's important. You've never forgotten what's important, Steve.”

“I picked Laurie because she mentioned nursing school in her ad.” Steve blew a heavy breath out through his teeth. “I just – we'd been letting the lawyers handle everything and it kept falling through. So I decided to take a look, see what was out there. And she just... jumped out at me. Single mom, Irish last name, wanted to be a nurse. It was an emotional decision, not a logical one.”

“I don't know that it needed to be a logical choice,” Tony said. “Deciding to have a kid, that was the moment for us to be logical and responsible. This... this is all emotion here, babe. We have to make a choice that feels right. And if Laurie felt right to you, then that's all I need.”

Steve held the baby's tiny fist between his thumb and forefinger. “I keep waiting for some perfect sign. Every family we meet, I think to myself _'this time I'll know for sure'_ but there's never a sign. I thought the nursing... well.” He smiled down at the baby, but it was self-deprecating. “I suppose she just reminded me of my mom.”

“Could be worse,” Tony said. “She could have reminded you of my dad. Just imagine.”

That startled a laugh out of Steve. “Tony,” he said, his voice fond and exasperated. 

“She's quiet,” Tony said. “I have it on good authority that I was not a quiet baby.”

“Me either,” Steve said. “Ma always said she worried if I got too quiet because it meant I was sick again.”

Tony shifted on the couch until he could lean against Steve's side. Steve wrapped an arm around him immediately, drawing Tony and the baby closer against him. “I know we agreed that it didn't matter, but daughters are different than sons.”

“I like girls,” Steve said. He pressed a quick kiss against Tony's temple. “A daughter would be nice. We could go to father-daughter dances and you could take her to SI on take your daughter to work day. We could still teach a daughter everything we could teach a son.”

“The world's not as kind to girls as it is to boys,” Tony said. “It'd be different. Harder, watching her grow up with that.”

“We protect people for a living. We'll protect her. Teach her to protect herself.” Steve carefully cupped the baby's head with his free hand. “I'll protect you both,” he said quietly. “Tony, are we doing this?”

The baby stirred at Steve's touch and yawned, her little mouth making a tiny little circle. She blinked up at them, and her eyes were still bright blue. She didn't fuss, just stared at them for a long moment before her eyes drifted shut again. 

“I think I want to,” Tony said. “I don't know if there's any one sign to look for, or if there's any one moment that we can point to and say _'this is it, this is how I know it's right'_. But I want a family with you, Steve. I want to raise a child with you and share my life with you. And Laurie and her sister seem like good people.”

“I want to pay for all her hospital bills, anything that piled up after the baby was born.” Steve stroked his fingers over the baby's hair. The curls were sparse and soft and bounced right back into place with each stroke of Steve's hand. “And I want to pay for her schooling. If we do this, then she'll be the mother of our child. She'll be family, in a way, even if we never see her again.”

Tony laughed, just a soft huff of breath that shook the baby against his chest. “I already have someone working on it. I set up a trust for her education expenses after we met her for the first time. I was just waiting to see how this all went before I said anything about it.” 

Steve pulled him closer and pressed another, fiercer kiss to his cheek. “God, sometimes you remind me all over again why I love you so much.”

“My money?” Tony teased.

“Your generosity. Your kindness. Our daughter,” Steve said in a voice that was suddenly rough and watery, “is going to be so lucky to have you for a father.”

“Luckier to have you,” Tony said with quiet fierceness. “Our daughter? We're doing this?”

Steve smiled. “How can we not? Look at her. Look how perfect she is in your arms.”

Tony let out a shaky breath. “Our daughter. You should hold her, too.” 

Steve took the baby from him, his big hands infinitely gentle with her tiny body. She looked even smaller held against his broad chest and Tony felt something bright and hot in his chest, so strong it made his throat tight and his eyes burn. Their daughter. Steve was holding their daughter. 

God willing, Tony thought, remembering that this was far from decided. And that Gretchen and Laurie had been making coffee for a very long time. 

“I'm going to check on the ladies,” Tony said, glancing toward the kitchen. Laurie had her back to them, leaning against her sister. Gretchen rubbed her sister's back and watched Tony and Steve with a quiet stillness in her eyes. “I – you're sure? You don't want to wait and look for a sign?”

“I don't even know what kind of sign I was looking for,” Steve said. He offered Tony a sheepish smile. “No, I'm sure. Go talk to Laurie. I'll stay with – you know, we don't know her name, do we?”

Tony blinked. None of the other parents had offered names either, but their children hadn't been born yet. When Laurie had kept referring to 'the baby' it hadn't seemed unusual. But now that he thought back, he thought she'd almost used a name once or twice before stopping herself. “Laurie?” he called. “What's her name?”

“I-” Laurie paused, then glanced up at her sister. “Some of the social workers said that you might want to give her your own name, so I thought I should leave it up to you.”

Tony blinked at Steve, who stared back, looking slightly stymied. That was something they hadn't considered – but again, they'd been dealing with children who hadn't been born before. “Well, we'd need to know for legal reasons eventually,” Tony said, “even if we did decide to change it. And we should call her something in the meantime.” He didn't think they would change it, unless her name turned out to belong to one of his ex-girlfriends. Then they might have to.

“It's Sarah,” Laurie said, and Steve froze. “Sarah Marie.”

Tony felt his eyes burn, even as his mouth curved up in a smile. Steve was staring up at him, his eyes wide and stunned. “That's your sign, baby. That's our little girl.”


End file.
